Describe the behavior, not the person. "The report went out two days late" lands better than "you're unreliable."
Use a real example. Vague feedback feels like an attack. One concrete instance makes it fair and hard to argue with.
Explain the impact. Say why it mattered: the client waited, the team replanned, quality slipped. Impact is what motivates change.
Ask before you assume. "What got in the way?" often surfaces a cause you didn't know about, and turns a lecture into a conversation.
End with a clear next step. Name what good looks like next time, so the person leaves knowing exactly what to do.
Keep it timely and private. Soon after the event, one-on-one. Public correction triggers defensiveness, not learning.
Separate praise from criticism. The "compliment sandwich" often buries the real message. Be warm, but let the point stand on its own.
How to receive feedback
Assume good intent. Most feedback is someone trying to help, even when it's clumsy. Listen for the signal, not the tone.
Don't defend immediately. The urge to explain is strong. Pause. "Let me sit with that" beats an instant rebuttal.
Ask for specifics. If it's vague, ask "can you give me an example?" You can't act on "be more proactive" until you know what it means.
Separate the message from the delivery. Feedback can be badly delivered and still be true. Take the truth, leave the tone.
Say thank you. Giving honest feedback is uncomfortable. Rewarding it makes people willing to be honest with you again.
Decide what to do with it later. You don't have to agree on the spot. Take it in, reflect, then choose what to change.
A simple structure to try
When you're stuck, the SBI model gives you a clean template that keeps feedback specific and non-accusatory:
Situation — when and where it happened. "In yesterday's client call..."
Behavior — what you actually observed. "...you cut in a few times while the client was explaining their problem..."
Impact — the effect it had. "...and they seemed to stop sharing details, which we needed."
Then hand it back: "How did you see it?" The scoring on this page rewards exactly these ingredients: a specific behavior, a clear impact, a respectful tone, and a concrete next step.
For teams
Building team features: shared scenarios, private progress for each person, and anonymised participation insights for the organisation, plus more languages and cultures. Want early access? Leave your email.
No spam. Just an update when team features are ready.
Runs entirely in your browser. Progress is saved locally on this device. No server, no account.